Society

Spanish woman living in the US: “I get overwhelmed — Americans don’t know how to just grab a drink”

A TikTok creator sparked an online debate about how different cultures can be when it comes to something as simple—and as complicated—as time.

Paloma Díaz Greg Heilman

Update: Sep 27th, 2025 19:54 EDT

Content creator ‘mareddyrud’ has explained to her followers one of the differences that distinguishes Spain from the United States, which she misses.

A Spanish TikTok creator living in the United States has sparked a lively debate online after sharing what she misses most about life back home: the simple act of meeting friends spontaneously for a coffee or a beer.

For many Spaniards, moving to the U.S. can feel like living out the “American Dream.” But as TikTok creator mareddyrud explained to her followers, the reality of American culture often comes with unexpected challenges—especially when it comes to how people use their time.

Work first, life later

In her viral video, mareddyrud describes a key difference she struggles with: Americans seem to view every moment as something that needs to be “useful” or “productive.”

“They work endless hours because the more they work, the more money they make,” she says. “And it’s the same with everything else—time has to serve a purpose.”

For her, this mindset creates constant pressure. “I get overwhelmed,” she admits. “It’s like they don’t know how to just meet up for a drink and see where things go.”

The end of spontaneity?

According to her, Americans rarely embrace improvisation. “If you make plans, they need to know what time it starts and what time it ends. They don’t know how to just be. What I want is to meet up, hang out, and see what happens,” she explains.

Still, she praises one side of U.S. culture: “They’re incredibly entrepreneurial. They always have a new idea, new goals, something they want to achieve… I admire that a lot. But I do miss sitting on a terrace, having a drink, and just talking.”

In the caption of her video, she summed it up bluntly: “America needs to adopt the concept of ‘going out for a drink.’”

@mareddyrud
Necesitan adoptar el concepto “ir a tomar algo” 💃🏻 #emigrar #españa #tapas #livingabroad #españolesporelmundo
♬ original sound - Mar

Social media reactions

The clip drew hundreds of responses from people who agreed with her frustrations.

One commenter wrote: “To get a coffee you have to plan ahead, drive, and only for a set time slot. I don’t even bother going out anymore—it’s exhausting.”

Another added: “Thank you for saying this! It stresses me out so much that people can’t just enjoy the moment even when they have nothing else to do. It’s frustrating.”

Others pointed to American coffee culture as the clearest example. “In Spain, coffee means sitting, chatting, sharing, taking your time. In the U.S., coffee is ‘stop & go,’ in a paper cup with a lid, fast. I just miss a real coffee in a cup.”

Even Americans chimed in to agree. “U.S. native here, and I’m 100% with you,” one said. Another admitted: “As a result, we’re always drained, exhausted, because here we live to work—not work to live.”

Different perspectives

Not everyone saw it negatively. A woman who has lived in Atlanta for 22 years shared: “At first it shocked me too, but eventually you learn to value your time differently. Here everything is scheduled, punctual, and traffic makes planning necessary. It changes how you see your time—and yourself.”

Meanwhile, foreigners who moved to Spain shared the opposite experience. One American said: “I’ve been in Spain for a year after 30 years in the U.S., and I just can’t adapt to this ‘go with the flow’ lifestyle. I like hanging out, but I need to know when I’m going home.”

Another expat noted: “At first I loved the idea of ‘going out for a drink’ and the party culture in Madrid. But after three years, I feel depressed by the slow pace and lack of ambition.”

Finding balance

Amid the cultural back-and-forth, some commenters offered advice: “Find people who share your way of living—they exist,” one suggested.