Retirees over the age of 80 leave a key message: “I regret giving my property to my daughters prematurely”

Living a long life gives one a bounty of experiences some good, some bad. But with age comes wisdom, or so it is said. Several octogenarians sat down with a YouTuber and shared theirs. What he left with was some enlightenment about life.

Quest to learn from elders begins with a happiness study

Jaime Gumiel went to Torrevieja, Spain, to speak with people from the large retirement community that resides there. He wanted to see if how they perceive their life experience matched the findings of a Harvard study led by psychiatrist Robert Waldinger.

The Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study of happiness, as followed individuals and their families for nine decades.

It found that women tend to regret not having lived a more authentic life, worrying too much about what others were thinking. Also not taking better care of themselves, dedicating too much time to caring for the family.

On the other hand, men expressed remorse about having worked too much and not spending enough time with their children. Also, having to keep up appearances as a “strong man,” one that couldn’t show emotions like crying or opening up emotionally with their wives.

What regrets did the 80-year-olds in Torrevieja have?

Betrayal that they experienced was one of the regrets that a couple of the seniors expressed. This sentiment was all the more painful as those that have inflicted it were loved ones.

One elderly woman explained that, while she didn’t see it exactly as betrayal, one of her daughters sold “very beloved” possessions that she had given to her simple for the money. “I regret giving my property to my daughters prematurely.”

Another had had the opportunity to move away from home and work abroad, but she let it slip by and she never ventured out to live her own life. But when asked if the current economic situation in Spain is what is making young people leave today, she said that it doesn’t matter where you go, there are problems everywhere.

Wherever you go to work, employers will always be looking to take advantage of your labor she commented. Adding that you have to learn to live within the rhythm of the country in which you find yourself.

However, for the most part, many of the people Gumiel interviewed didn’t express any regrets. They looked back on their lives and felt they have had a good run of it so far.

“Why do I want to live? Why do I want to die?”

One thing that they all had in common was that they would happily go back to being 30 or even 25 years old again when asked by Gumiel. Not just to be young again, but so that they could live to be 80 again.

One gentleman shared how he had to go work in the fields when he was just nine years old. He explained that he could barely attend school, taking night classes when he could.

Eventually, he and his wife moved out of their village, leaving with just what they could carry in a plastic bag, if there had been any back then. “We built everything through hard work and sacrifice,” he said.

He confided that he sometimes asks himself, “Why do I want to live?” but at the same time, “Why do I want to die?” But he says that he’s come to the realization that you “just have to keep going.” But he said he would happily do it all over again.

Lessons from living 80 years

The same gentleman after all his trials and tribulations told Gumiel that life taught him that “everyone is equal. No one is better and no one is worse.”

“Life gives and life takes,” he added. “You have to value what doesn’t seem important. At the end of life you see the results.”

There was a consensus among the seniors’ advice for younger people: “Live. Enjoy life… the best that you can.”

Part of that is making do with less. “In the past, with nothing we had a very good time,” one explained. He is concerned about his own son who he says has everything, but is unhappy.

Also to be less egotistical saying: “We had our falling outs, but everyone always helped everyone else.”

Additionally, he added that people should take time to enjoy a slower paced life and the simple things. “We used to just sit on some rocks in the village, talking with each other all afternoon…then we’d go home, eat what was given to us… [after that] off to bed until the next day.”

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