People with high emotional intelligence replace “I’m sorry” with a word that expresses gratitude and positivity

Imagine you arrive late for a meeting or work, the first words out of your mouth will most likely be “I’m sorry I’m late.” Or you’ve bungled some task, “I’m sorry about the mistake.”

It’s just a natural response for most people to start off by saying “I’m sorry” when apologizing for any actions that may have upset somebody. However, using that simple saying constantly may be doing more harm than good according to communication and emotional psychology experts. They say that there is a more positive way that you can apologize.

Show gratitude when you’ve done something wrong

Constantly saying “I’m sorry” can put a chill in a relationship or even get under the skin of the other person who you are apologizing to, explained the Huffington Post. Citing an article in Diamond online, you should instead try using “thank you.”

This replaces a negative word with a positive one, which can build trust with the other person. Ihoko Kurokawa, author of ‘The Luck Manual’ explains that a simple linguistic shift can make all the difference in the world in how people perceive us.

“Cold words irritate, while warm ones build trust,” she explained.

Putting the idea into practice

For example, imagining again that you arrive late to a meeting, instead of saying “Sorry I’m late,” you should say “Thank you for waiting for me.”

In the former, you are drawing the focus to yourself and your tardiness. While in the latter, you are showing gratitude for the other person’s patience and shifting attention to them. This helps ease the mood.

A display of emotional intelligence

Furthermore, this way of phrasing shows emotional intelligence, in that you acknowledge that you are thinking about the other person by showing your gratitude to them.

On top of that, you are removing guilt from yourself. According to Psychology Today, you aren’t ignoring your mistake, you simply aren’t “drowning” in negativity when you acknowledge them. Additionally, it comes with the benefit of reducing self-criticism and fostering a more optimistic outlook.

How you say things can set the tone

Kurokawa points out that how you say things can set the tone of a relationship. When a business meeting to pitch an idea to a client has wrapped up it is better to say something like “Thank you so much, I really enjoyed our conversation,” versus “I’m grateful, sorry for the inconvenience.”

The first coveys warmth and closeness and the client will walk away with a positive vibe about the encounter. Whereas the second is polite, but it creates a sense of distance and coldness.

This way of phrasing things is something that people with emotional intelligence can pull off with subtlety. Learning to do so, and replacing mechanical apologies, can have a positive impact on your relationships, not just in business settings but also your personal ones.

It turns mistakes into opportunities to deepen connections.

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