If you avoid eye contact when talking, psychologists say you have these five common traits

Making eye contact builds trust, interest, and a desire to connect. It creates a bond that can express a wide range of emotions—surprise, excitement, curiosity. Making eye contact in a work meeting isn’t the same as during a date, but in both cases, it signals intention. Sometimes it simply says, I’m here—maybe out of obligation, but other times it clearly means I see you, I’m paying attention.

Avoiding eye contact can stem from many factors, but psychologists have identified five main reasons. The first is shyness or embarrassment. If someone avoids eye contact while speaking, they may feel threatened, insecure, or ashamed. This is common when someone feels judged or overwhelmed by a new situation. Avoiding eye contact can also signal a desire to keep distance or a general sense of discomfort.

If you’re constantly looking around instead of maintaining eye contact, it can be a red flag—possibly a sign you’re anticipating conflict or feeling anxious. It often indicates social anxiety or unease.

Cultural norms also play a role. In some regions, direct eye contact can be perceived as bold or even confrontational, depending on the person with whom you’re speaking. And sometimes, you avoid looking someone in the eye because you feel guilty—you know you’ve done something wrong, and your emotions give you away.

Another reason people avoid eye contact is emotional vulnerability. You might feel embarrassed because you’re attracted to someone but don’t want to admit it—even to yourself. So you look away, even though deep down, you want the opposite.

The importance of eye contact in nonverbal communication

Eye contact is a crucial aspect of nonverbal communication, playing a central role in our daily interactions. It conveys meaning beyond words. It’s believed that between 60% and 90% of the message we communicate in face-to-face conversations is nonverbal. And not making eye contact adds its own layer of meaning to the message. Avoiding eye contact—depending on the context—can reveal more than we intend. Just like facial expressions, posture, and body movements, it can expose genuine emotions, even when we try to hide them. Eye contact is key to detecting empathy, anger, sadness, excitement, and more. When your pupils dilate while looking at someone, it signals a strong emotional response.

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