If you are feeling sad, panicked or anxious, psychologists say you’re probably outside of your “window of tolerance”

Scroll through social media long enough and you’ll spot it: people talking about being “outside their window of tolerance.” The phrase sounds clinical but describes something instantly familiar – that point when stress turns into chaos, or when everything just… shuts down.

The concept comes from psychiatrist Daniel Siegel, but it’s recently found new traction among therapists and wellness communities trying to explain modern burnout. “It’s essentially how our nervous system manages pressure,” said Becca Moravec, a Denver-based trauma counselor who spoke to HuffPost. “Inside the window, we can think clearly and feel our emotions. Outside it, we either go into panic and rage or into numbness and disconnection.”

Modern life shrinks the window for everyone

Psychologists say today’s conditions make it unusually difficult to stay in that zone. “We live in a culture that glorifies the hustle,” said California therapist Emma Shandy Anway, also quoted by HuffPost. “The system itself is unsafe – politically, socially, environmentally – so people are spending most of their time in survival mode.”

Moravec added that many people learned early on to suppress emotion: “We were told to ‘get over it,’ not to feel it. That conditioning makes it harder to recognise when we’re slipping out of balance.”

Can I widen my window of tolerance?

Some people have a naturally wider emotional window, often thanks to secure childhoods or low-stress environments. Others, especially those who’ve experienced trauma, find theirs much smaller. But everyone can expand it, said West Virginia therapist Carly Costello.

Mindfulness, slow breathing, movement, journaling – small, consistent habits “build scaffolding for the nervous system,” Shandy Anway explained. These daily anchors teach the body that safety and calm are repeatable, not rare.

Back to steady, not back to perfect

The goal isn’t eternal calm. “Even healed people step outside their window,” Moravec said. “It’s about how gently you return.”

As the phrase spreads, its appeal might lie in that permission – to feel, to wobble, and to recover, again and again. The window, it turns out, isn’t a box to stay trapped inside. It’s the space where life becomes manageable again.

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